I looked forward to coming back home, but as I drove puddles cut my way. I had to stop. I got out of my car, stepping straight into a swamp and staining my neat shoes. I knew the marks would never come off.
There was no coming back.
I remembered the home from the old times. When you were there, waiting for me, brewing tea, sitting in a chair. That was what I hoped to come back to.
Even though I perfectly knew you, I completely forgot who you were and what you did to me. I just missed you. I wanted you to sit next to me.
You always said what you felt, but I never wanted you to love me. Now I want nothing but you to love me.
I’m standing on a shore, staring at you, and I don’t know what to say. Maybe there’s nothing to say.
I’m standing on an edge, wondering about my life, and I don’t know what to do. Maybe there’s nothing I can do.
I’m standing on a hill, thinking about flying, but I don’t know how to breathe. Maybe there’s no breath in me.
And I sit on that bench. Tired of asking myself questions that have no answers. If I could… if only I could lay my head on your lap, feel the warmth of your body, hear the whisper of your voice, feel your touch on my hand. Then I would know all the answers.
Then I would follow you everywhere, letting you lead me.
I went to the forest, holding your hand. The trees absorbed you. You left me in the darkness. You left me in the cold.