Maybe I’m the one who’s not normal
wrapped in delusions
speaking the language of nightmares.
Maybe we shouldn’t talk
just blankly stare at each other.
Maybe I’m the one who’s fake
pretending to enjoy your company
Maybe we shouldn’t smile
symbols with our thumbs.
Maybe I’m the one who’s cold
looking you in the eye.
Maybe we shouldn’t hug
marks on our skin.
‘I don’t like people’ I told you once. But I lied. I lied to you. And I lied to myself.
Being on my own. That’s what I like best. I know you don’t understand it. I don’t expect you to. But I’m not going to explain it to you. I’m sorry.
But being on my own surrounded by people is a completely different thing. I walk the glass hallway everyday. It’s made me deaf and blind. It’s made me invisible. Yes, I know it’s partly my fault.
Sitting on the pavements, they are somewhere. Who are they if not humans? Just a smile and a few words. Is that too much to ask?
You told me that I’m part of the team now. But I don’t feel like part of anything. Just a crack on the wall. Everyone knows it’s there, but everyone ignores it.
I sometimes imagine talking to you. Not about obviousness. About things you probably wouldn’t want to talk about. That’s why this dream can never be fulfilled. And that is what makes me sad.
Sitting in the corner of the room, I can only spin the wheel of fortune. Shall I come out to smell the sweet scent of rosehips. Shall I stay hidden in the endless corridors of my fears.
Always drifting and talking to the figments of my imagination.