Missing

I achieved everything
what I wanted.
Worked hard for many years
to be somebody
as I wanted.
I don’t understand
I’m still missing something
Is that you?
Your absence.
I abandoned
the memory of you.
Didn’t want to think
about you somewhere else
not being here
next to me.
I’m missing something
I don’t understand
I should be happy
as I wanted.
Don’t I have everything?
I have everything
but you.

© W. Donovan

Marble silence

We think we have time.
We never say what we feel.
We never say what we want to say
at the moment.
We hide it in complicated words
which mean nothing
don’t say anything directly
don’t explain anything.
We don’t talk about what’s important.
We’re scared
of shame
incomprehension
rejection.
We think we have time.
Until the other person goes away.
Then we realize
that we’ll never tell him again
about anything.
We won’t say what we feel
what we always wanted to say
that he was important to us.
There’s only a gibber left
There’s a marble silence
answering mute questions
which we’re afraid to ask.
We thought we had so much time.

© W. Donovan

don’t, stop

Pain in every part of the body,
so sudden and violent, not possible to
bear. I want you to stop. I
could curl up with it. I could,
but I cannot move. I stand like
a statue in the middle of the
room and shout inaudible voice without opening
my mouth, I am crying without shedding
tears and lie standing. Pain like a
thousand needles pierces my mind and covers
my eyes. I hear my own scream
and I see flames through my eyelids.
I am like a ghost, devoid of
the body, but imprisoned in it forever.


© W. Donovan