I’ve fallen into a rabbit hole. Everything seems like a dream, except for everything is true.

And everything I wanted to be true now is in limbo. I don’t know what to do because, whatever I’ll do, I know I won’t be satisfied either way. That frustrate me so much that I want to run away far away, where I can’t read and listen and see anything that is unwelcome by my inner self.

That’s my life now.

Why has it happened when I started understanding things and wanting things to be my way?

Because I wanted everything at once and now I have to pay for it.

I look at the time, feel it escaping from under my feet. The ground full of dull colours tries to tie my legs, so I run through the forest of leafless trees. The crying branches painfully cut my skin and squeeze my body in their strong grips. I feel like I can’t breathe… The deck of cards is after me, wanting to suck the paint out of me.

Maybe this is it. Maybe that’s where it ends.