There once was a drop of water, who had lived on a small leaf near to the ground. She spent there all days disappearing silently into the air at night and appearing again in the morning as dew. Always sitting on the same leaf.

One day, the wind whiffed low and gently brushed the leaf with the drop of water on it. The wind stopped there swirling around.

‘What are you doing here, drop of water?’ he asked.

‘I live here, that’s my home,’ she responded.

‘Why is that? Shouldn’t you flow with the stream?’ the wind couldn’t understand.

‘No, it’s dangerous,’ she said.

‘Shouldn’t you pour down with the rain?’

‘No, that’s too much risk.’

‘Shouldn’t you create waves together with the ocean?’ the wind kept asking.

‘But… I’m scared.’

‘Why are you scared of who you are? Stream, rain, ocean… these are what you’re meant to be.’

‘Of course, these are what I’m meant to be. I am water. I could be anywhere. I just choose to be nowhere,’ the water said and hid behind the leaf.

What is your first thought when you wake up in the morning?

Where am I? How long have I been here? Who am I going to be today? Who am I going to be for the next five years?

I wanted to be someone new. Someone whose life is exciting and full of adventure. I’d dreamed of my new life every day, pictured it in details and couldn’t wait it to be true.

Everything had been drawn. Everything had been planned…. Everything fell from the cliff into the wild sea I wanted to feel in my heart.

Now I’m standing on the edge. Torn. Either I step back into the comfort of the soft grass or jump to catch my dreams. It’s only a nanosecond and suddenly I find myself calling after the wind who takes everything.

I’m standing on a shore, staring at you, and I don’t know what to say. Maybe there’s nothing to say.

I’m standing on an edge, wondering about my life, and I don’t know what to do. Maybe there’s nothing I can do.

I’m standing on a hill, thinking about flying, but I don’t know how to breathe. Maybe there’s no breath in me.

And I sit on that bench. Tired of asking myself questions that have no answers. If I could… if only I could lay my head on your lap, feel the warmth of your body, hear the whisper of your voice, feel your touch on my hand. Then I would know all the answers.

Then I would follow you everywhere, letting you lead me.

I went to the forest, holding your hand. The trees absorbed you. You left me in the darkness. You left me in the cold.

I’m fading.

Yes. I lost everything.

Because I wanted to have a piece of heaven only for myself, and I wasn’t happy in the place I lived. I wasn’t content with myself. I wanted more.

Because I recklessly left everything behind, chasing up the rising sun, and not thinking about the consequences that a twilight might bring.

Because I hoped life was something more than this. I thought life was something more than enduring in a bottomless space where you cannot fly.

Because I wanted peace with the world and silence in the house.

So selfish.

So ungrateful.

I lost everything.

should I give up my dream?

You probably don’t go back to that day. You may not even remember it. But I do.

The day I saw you, even though I thought I would never see you again. The day my heart froze for half a second.

Since that time I cannot stop thinking about you. I cannot stop thinking about all those mistakes that led me to a shore where I grasp for air, where I try to blink the tears away.

My soul longs for you. Although I don’t know where you are, I hope to meet you some day at the other side of the ocean. There everything blooms.

When I look at the sky at night, and the stars are shining bright, I think about you because we first met when the night was deep and cold. The town lights on the other side of the river gave us hope and the warmth we’d seeked.

But we could only watch it from afar for we’d been expelled from the place with cracked paths surrounding the trees whose leaves had been singing for us every morning.

Now you’re not by my side and there is nobody to hold my hand. I’m scared I might forget you so I picture your face in my mind and then I feel your presence beside me. I feel the warmth you give me in that cold night whose stars are out of my reach.