Affection. You know that feeling, right?
The question is: WHAT makes you feel that way about someone? Is it a true feature that someone holds or an imagined picture in your head about them?
I was in front of screen, busy with my work. Suddenly interrupted by him, I accidentally spilled my thoughts. I don’t do it often… Only then did I saw it in his eyes.
He’s been so cheerful around me ever since. Finding excuses to talk to me, only gently, so that I wouldn’t find out. But I knew already. I always know.
You pretend not to see, of course, because it’s easier that way. It’s a bit of fun and you don’t mind really. You quite like him and enjoy talking to him, even though not talking to him wouldn’t do any difference to you.
Sometimes you feel uncomfortable, but sometimes flattered somehow. So you try to be nice and you engage more and more, starting to say things that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.
Where does it lead you?
You start wondering what is there that he likes about you so much. Is it real? Is it going to bore him one day? Will he still like you when you make a stupid mistake? Will he still like you when he sees your true face? How long is it going to last? Will he loathe you for all the features that he used to love you for? I don’t know if it’s real and how much sincerity is in it.
Feeling overwhelmed and dizzy most of the time, he finds it inappropriate. Afraid of a bond that might form between us, he backs out. With regret, though. Once showing me affection, now he ignores me. Heavy-hearted, he pops the soap bubble, unknowingly pouring his bitterness all over me. And it hurts.