Voices [VII]

Voices in my head
I can hear them all the time
whisper that I’m a bad man.
Down on my knees
I’m begging for mercy.
Is that what you wanted?
You don’t understand anything.
I did it because I wanted to
I wanted to be worthy of you.
But you still don’t understand.
I told you many times
that I loved you.
You thought it was a joke
You thought it was a fad
You thought it was a lie
Do you believe me now?
Will you let me love you
be close to you
even if you don’t want it.
Please tell me
that you’ve forgiven me
that you need me
that I deserve it.

© W. Donovan

Surface

My tears ruffle the peaceful surface of the ocean
It’s no longer a reflection of the calm sky
The peace of our souls. It’s nothing
Our hearts are broken now
and we can bury everything in the ground.

© W. Donovan

Soulmate

I regret I wasn’t listening
to you more carefully
Before
I ignored you
talked to you
but didn’t listen.
I’m sorry.
I can imagine
how you might’ve felt.
I know I was blind
hadn’t seen the signs.
I know I was deaf
I hadn’t heard your voice.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
I wish I listened.
Now I can’t speak to anyone
without seeing your face
without hearing your voice
without imagining our conversations.
God, I miss it so much
our talks.
I’m sorry I wasn’t listening.
I didn’t understand it
Probably that’s why you left.
Now I try to remember
every detail from our talks.
Now I want to ask you questions
I didn’t ask when I had a chance.
God, I wish I was listening.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know
you were my soulmate.

© W. Donovan

Pain

Pain, bursting sharp
I feel when you are close
and when I want you to go
I feel when you are here
and when you leave me alone
I feel when you talk to me
and when you stop talking
I feel when I say I love you
and when I say I hate you.

© W. Donovan