Have I?

~ W. Donovan

My mother has told me lately that I lost the joy of life. I thought: ‘Oh, have I?’ She made me think about what ‘joy’ really means. Is it joy when you pet your dog, and he jumps on you and licks your face? Then you laugh and beg him to stop.

Or is it joy when you put a smile on, pretending that you’re happy because you’ve just started a new job.

Can you tell the difference? Can you recognize it?

I don’t understand how some people can smile and be joyful all the time. Nice to everyone around them. That must be draining… because are they really? Are they really like this when no one is looking?

Have I lost the joy of life? No. In order to lose something, you have to own it in the first place.

Published by W. Donovan

Weronika Donovan is an amateur writer and photographer. She's an artistic soul. She was born in Poland, where she was brought up and educated. Her adventure with writing began in her late teens, but she started blogging only ten years later. Her poetry has grown since that time. She started to use words more consciously. She defined the journey of her life, portraying it in four volumes of poetry. First of them called 'Ghosts' was self-published in 2019. Weronika is a loner. She likes wandering to interesting places, always choosing her own path.

8 thoughts on “Have I?”

  2. Here is a text for you. The origin is in german and it is translated by deepL so not very good but never the less: Gustav Meyrdink

    WHO AM I?
    Has there ever been a human being since the earth stood
    who would know the right answer to this question?

    I AM THE INVISIBLE NIGHTINGALE SITTING IN THE CAGE AND SINGING.
    But not every cage has bars swinging when SHE sings.

    HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SUNG YOU A SONG THAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ME,
    but you’ve been deaf all your life.

    NOTHING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WILL EVER BE AS CLOSE TO YOU AS I AM,
    AND NOW YOU ASK ME WHO I AM?
    Some people’s own souls have become so alien to them,
    that he will collapse dead when the time comes,
    that he sees them. He then no longer recognizes them,
    and she appears to him distorted to the head of Medusa;
    she bears the face of the evil deeds he has done
    and of which he secretly fears,
    they could have tainted his soul.

    YOU CAN ONLY HEAR MY SONG IF YOU SING IT ALONG.
    A transgressor is one who does not hear the song of his soul
    an offender alive, to others and to himself.

    MY SONG IS AN ETERNAL MELODY OF JOY
    Who does not know joy – THE PURE FUNDAMENTAL JOYING CONSCIOUSNESS,

    THE CAUSELESS: I AM WHO I AM, WHO I WAS AND WHO I ALWAYS WILL BE –
    he is a sinner of the Holy Spirit.

    BEFORE THE GLOW OF JOY THAT SHINES IN THE BREAST
    LIKE A SUN IN THE INNER SKY,
    THE GHOSTS GIVE WAY TO THE DARKNESS THAT IS
    AS THE SHADOWS OF COMMITTED AND FORGOTTEN CRIMES OF FORMER LIVES ACCOMPANY AND ENTANGLE THE THREADS OF HIS FATE.
    WHO HEARS AND SINGS THIS SONG OF JOY,
    HE DESTROYS THE CONSEQUENCES OF ALL GUILT AND NEVER HEAPS GUILT ON THEM AGAIN.
    He who cannot rejoice, in him the sun has died,
    how could such a light spread ?
    Even impure joy is closer to the light than dark, gloomy seriousness.

    YOU ASK WHO I AM ?
    THE JOY AND THE ME ARE THE SAME.
    WHO DOES NOT KNOW JOY, DOES NOT KNOW WHO I AM.
    The innermost ME is the original source of joy, who does not worship it,
    that serves hell. It is not written:

    “I” AM THE LORD THY GOD; THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BESIDE ME?
    HE WHO DOES NOT HEAR THE SONG OF THE NIGHTINGALE AND SINGS IT, HAS NO I;
    he has become a dead mirror,
    where strange demons come and go.

    JUST TRY AND BE HAPPY !
    Many a person who tries it asks: What should I be happy about?
    JOY NEEDS NO REASON,

    IT GROWS FROM ITSELF LIKE GOD.
    Joy that needs an occasion is not joy but pleasure.
    Many a one wants to feel joy and cannot
    then he blames the world and fate.
    He does not consider: A SUN WHICH HAS FARLY FORGOT THE LIGHTING,

    HOW COULD THE ONE WITH ITS FIRST FAINT TWILIGHT
    ALREADY THE GHOSTLY CROWD
    A THOUSAND YEAR OLD NIGHT?
    What a man has done all his life,
    cannot be done well in a single moment.

    BUT IN WHOM ONCE THE CAUSELESS JOY HAS MOVED IN,
    HE HAS ETERNAL LIFE FROM NOW ON.
    BECAUSE HE IS UNITED WITH THE ” I ” WHO DOES NOT KNOW DEATH –
    IT IS ALWAYS A JOY. BUT THE JOY HAS TO BE LEARNED –
    YOU WANT TO BE AWARNED, but what people long for,
    is not the joy but the occasion for joy.
    It is him they lust after and not the joy.

    Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

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